Do you ever sit around and daydream? Do you ever think to yourself about the direction your life is heading? Do you ever sit and wonder, what if…
I found myself thinking about this a lot in January. I’ve been thinking a lot about goals, aspirations and passions. What I want to accomplish. What I aspire to be. What fuels my soul.
What I found is that my goals, aspirations and passions are not aligned with each other. They couldn’t be farther away from each other. And I let that happen.
For the better part of my adult life, I’ve been passionate about coaching. I accidentally fell into it at SUNY Fredonia. From there it was as though I was hooked. A drug if you will. My drug of choice - coaching collegiate track and field athletes.
Similarly, my life goals have been focused on taking care of my young family. As the family grew, so did my goals about what I needed to do to take care of them as best I could. As best as I knew how. A lot has changed since my first was born in June, 2013. Careers, opportunities and lost hope.
I’ve always wanted more for the boys. That stems from watching my parents break themselves to take care of my brother and I. Frank and I never yearned for anything. We were always at the forefront of my parent’s lives. But I couldn’t tell you what my parents aspired to be. I don’t know what their goals are. Or what they were. I don’t know what they are passionate about. I can definitely tell you with 100% certainty that my dad’s passion was not to work on an assembly line for 25 years.
When I reflect on my own life and daydream, I think mostly about lost opportunities. The opportunities that could have been, but because of other responsibilities were not able to be realized. The coaching positions. The tenure track teaching positions. There was also a reason why not to forge ahead. But what if that reason is no longer there?
And that is the point I stand in right now. The proverbial fork in the road. Go left and stay safe. Live a life, but not actually LIVE a life. The average. The safe. The known.
Go right. Fear stands in your way. The path is bleak. Dark. Unknown. What is known is that my true passion lies down that path. A new journey. There is no reason to hold you back. No one thing. Well, only your fear. The fear of possible failure. The fear of ruin. The fear of what others may say. The fear of and the fear of. I have fears. Mine are known. But they are also the reason.
Forging towards the unknown is difficult. I’m standing at the crossroads right now. I’ve taken one step towards the unknown. I’ve made it known to those close to me that I want to go down that path. There is still trepidation. There is still the fear of what if.
What if it doesn’t work out…
For one thing, I wouldn’t be any worse off than I am now. I don’t think it could get any worse. I’m not quite sure if this is rock bottom. But it feels like it. And I’m still afraid to forge ahead. The resistance is strong. But my date is set - June 30, 2024.
We move forward…
Dr. Charles Infurna
Charles Infurna, Ed.D., is the owner and lead coach of Forza Athletics Track Club. Dr. Infurna has coached National Record Holders, National Champions, All-Americans, and Conference Champions at the Post-Collegiate, Collegiate, and High School level.